Before You Arrive: Tips from the Student Life Office

I’d like to offer four key ways you can help prepare your son for his transition to Cardigan.

Practice Independence

Cardigan boys learn how to be responsible citizens during their time on The Point, but practicing while still at home is beneficial. Finding incremental ways for your student to practice personal responsibility will help him feel more confident with increased autonomy at Cardigan. He can start by creating a more structured schedule (including an earlier wake-up, reading, exercise, chores, play, and a regular bedtime–lights out is 9:30 p.m. for underclassmen and 10:00 p.m. for 9th graders). He can take ownership of some tasks like washing the dishes, cooking a meal, doing his laundry, or cleaning his room on a daily basis. Practicing independence will also help prevent homesickness and decrease student anxiety during the opening days. You might consider using a resource like Let Grow to give your son opportunities to learn independence through real-life experiences.

Don’t Overpack

You may be tempted to pack more than is necessary. We encourage you to stick to the packing guide (including two sets of bed linens, as the E&R laundry service does not provide them). Your son can always get additional belongings if he needs them, but too much stuff leads to messy rooms, missing belongings, and more distraction. Most importantly, a part of living responsible lives is being modest and recognizing the beauty of having enough and not taking more than we need.  

Talk About Homesickness

All boys experience some degree of homesickness. As parents and guardians, you likely have a sense of how your son will deal with leaving home. You can ask your son how he is feeling about being away from home and family for an extended period. Discussing coping strategies ahead of time is beneficial as well: staying busy, building relationships, encouraging them that it will get better, and asking for help from dorm parents, the health center, and student leaders. If there is anything you think we should know with regards to homesickness based on your conversations, please let your son’s advisor know.

Limit Screen Time (and prepare for less of it)

For many of us, adults and students, this is the toughest transition. Limiting screen time before arriving at Cardigan may be the best way to help your son prepare for the year ahead. As adolescent screen time increases (with social media in particular) so too does social anxiety, depression, sleep deprivation, attention fragmentation, and related mental health issues. We believe there is no better time to be at a middle school without cell phones. 

Many communities and schools are applying Jonathan Haidt’s major recommendations in The Anxious Generation: How the Great Rewiring of Childhood Is Causing an Epidemic of Mental Illness (2024):

1. No smartphones before high school
2. No social media before 16
3. Phone-free schools (check!)
4. Far more unsupervised play and childhood independence

Cardigan is committed to creating a healthy environment where the whole boy can achieve his full potential. During our opening days (before they receive their school computers), the boys will only have access to the land lines in their rooms, which is a huge change for most. Here’s how you can help your son be present and see the Cardigan experience as an opportunity:

• Learn about the effects of screen time and social media, gain an understanding of your son’s current screen time, and discuss your family values and expectations regarding technology use.
• Try to go an entire day without cell phones, computers, video games, TV, or allot specific, limited hours for screen time. Either way, have your son become less reliant on screens leading up to his arrival.
• Consider making this a family challenge! Your son is more likely to participate if everyone else does. 
• Discuss screen-free activities and come prepared to participate in them:
  • Is there a hobby he can share from home?
  • Are there some books he wants to read?
  • Is there a skill like drawing he can share? 
  • What sports or activities does he enjoy doing outside?
  • What do you do when you are bored?

We see the relationship between the school and parents/guardians as a partnership. In that context, we need to address the integrity of our cell phone policy. Cardigan’s cell phone and technology policy is clear. All boys must turn in cell phones (and other technology specified in the Student Handbook) at the beginning of the year. Unfortunately, we occasionally have students submit old or non-working devices, or none at all, while hiding an unsanctioned device. This goes against our Core Values, and dishonesty is considered a major school rule. We believe that limiting distracting technology enhances our student experience, helping them to learn essential relationship and interpersonal skills, and we need your buy-in if we are going to convince the boys of the importance of being fully present during their short time at Cardigan.

With this in mind, we request that all families reinforce our technology policy. You can help by having a conversation with your son about the values of our policy, collecting old/unused devices, and being clear about what technology you permit them to pack and bring to school. When the boys hear a similar message from multiple mentors in their lives, it is more likely to resonate.

I hope you find this information useful as you get ready for the academic year. We are counting down the days before we get to work with your boys again! Please don’t hesitate to reach out if you have any questions or concerns. We’re happy to help.

Sincerely,

Nick Nowak
Director of Student Life
nnowak@cardigan.org